Just one of those things.

Spouse and I were going to go up and see my mentor Bill at the hospice on Friday. No small feat, getting Spouse to actually take a half day.

Spouse got a phone call while we were both driving. Bill died.

I got through most of the weekend by just letting the shock carry me. That's wearing off now, and it's getting real. I kept emailing Bill and telling him that I wanted to come and see him, but that I would wait for him to tell me that it was a good time. I didn't want to intrude on his time with his family. We knew his time was short, but everyone was saying two months, maybe six weeks. We got that estimation four days before he died.

I am comforted somewhat by the fact that he knew how much he meant to me. I sent him a personalized Chicago White Sox championship jersey around the first of the year, with a note from Santa saying that Santa knew Bill had had a rough couple of months, but that he'd been a very good boy, and that Santa hoped this present made Bill feel better. Bill apparently found it on his doorstep the day after he had to attend the funeral of a close friend who had died from cancer, and the whole experience had been very sad and scary for him. The jersey made him feel worlds better, and he said he showed it to everyone who came to the house for weeks afterward.

Bill is the reason that I do what I do. He gave me my first job. He taught me how to be a lawyer, how to handle people, how to properly look after bureaucrats and politicians. He taught me that some people, in practicing law, play checkers, but that the smart ones play chess. He taught me how not to let my good nature lead me to doing other people's jobs for them. He saw something in me that led him to want to set me up to be his "heir apparent", planning that as he moved toward a well-deserved retirement, he'd gradually hand the reins over to me as his chosen replacement, since none of his children had wanted to take over the "family business", and I was the closest thing to that that he had. He went to the Town and, knowing that I still had my babies and I needed to have flexibility in my work, he had them create a part-time Assistant Town Attorney position. He couldn't hire me personally because it's a government job, but I think that everyone in a position to make that decision knew that if they hired anyone else, there would be hell to pay.

He was eternally funny and supportive and loving, and he always seemed to come from a position of "Of course you can do this, why would it occur to you to think otherwise?"

He was another Wildcat, and together, we fought off the Sun Devil hordes.

He was completely devoted to his family, and they gave him his greatest joy. After more than thirty years of marriage, he still referred to his wife as "his lovely bride".

My greatest challenge now will be going forward, using the knowledge he gave me, and being worthy of the faith he had in me. It will be my personal goal from here on to become the best lawyer I can possibly be, and to know that wherever he is, he is looking down and watching me with pride. If nothing else, I know that when my life comes to an end, he will be there to greet me with a "Hello, young lady," and a hug. Knowing him, he'll also have an office waiting for me with my name already on the door.