Getting back on track.

Okay, enough with the depressing crap and cheesy online quizzes. (Although that last one made me howl laughing.) Celebration IV, people. Most of my good friends in the Garrison can't plan their way out of a paper bag (God love them), so it will likely fall to the ladies to make sure it all comes off in the optimum way.

I made an inquiry about a tour bus to take us all, so we don't all have to drive. If we filled the bus, it'd be about a hundred bucks apiece for everyone to ride. Don't know if I could get enough bodies at that rate. Of course, if my accountant weren't giving me such fits about my write-offs for the Garrison, I'd just "donate" it. Why can't I just have a free week wherein I could start that 501(c)(3) to "unofficially support" the work we do? Damn and blast.

Anyway, in what might be the second-best news of the week, my mother has expressed interest in coming to C-IV so I can (1) bring my kids and (2) be free to party like a rock star with my homies while she takes them to the pool and stuff when they get bored with the convention. I also told her I might dress her like Mon Mothma, and when I tried to explain who that was, she said, "I don't care who it is, I'm in."

My mom rocks.

I'm also going to lobby for my brother John to do Han Solo, and dress his girlfriend Martha as some version of Leia. Between the three of them, a Jedi outfit for my older brother Paul, and costumes for both of my kids, I should be keeping the Sewing Goddess busy for ohh . . . the next year.

I've also talked to Bitch Two about appearing as a Bespin version of Leia with her very-hot and very-suave Black husband as Lando. Of course, if they bring their son, it'll look like Leia and Lando were hittin' it and had a secret love child. SWEET.

My problem will be having enough days to do all of my costumes by that point, if the plans go as I'd like. I'll have my Mara, of course, but I plan to have an Isard (have to talk to Maulrat about colored contacts) and the aforementioned Mandalore Battle Chick done by then as well. You know how I know the Mandalorian one will be done? Because Pirate Chickie and Sewing Goddess are organizing it, and I swear, they could put the 82nd Airborne on the road, fully stocked and loaded, without breaking a sweat. The guys will probably still be putzing around with their Republic Commando armor the week before, and we'll already have formal portraits done.

Speaking of which, I've emailed SW Chick and started to make arrangements for her to come and stay at my place to take formal pics for the Garrison. Never a dull moment!

To go with the snoobs post, maybe?

Your Stripper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard Love is like a bomb, baby, come on get it on. Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

This time the link will actually work: What Song Should You Strip To Quiz

2035, remind me to tell you a funny story about this sometime.

Snoobs!

Do check out TD-0013's discussion of the merits of various sets of glitter-covered "snoobs". That term makes me laugh.

We've decided to make a pack of female Mandalorians for the recently-announced Celebration IV. In Los Angeles. I almost typed "Lost Angeles", which would be appropriate in its own right. The groovy thing about doing anything Mandalorian is that it allows for some customization to reflect the personality of the wearer. Does that mean I should wear unrelieved black?

We also have, thanks to 2035, an opportunity to talk to author Karen Traviss, Goddess of Republic Commando and all things Mandalorian, and we hope to pick her brain as to some direction for the costumes. We'll all do some reading, but the costumes apparently reflect the mission of the wearer by color . . . yellow/gold signifies vengeance, black signifies justice, etc. When I asked Spouse which he saw as more appropriate for me, without even thinking he said, "Vengeance."

I don't know whether to be impressed with that or scared.

The pack of female Mandalorians should be impressive indeed . . . Pirate Chickie is leading the way, with Twi'lek Sith, Sewing Goddess and a few others in for the deal. We were kidding today that with our collection of hot women, we should do a fundraiser for the DSG by making a calendar.

Just because it's necessary.

Dear 2035 and 0013,

I absolutely adore you guys. For it to even occur to the two of you that a girl like me needs defending . . . you have no idea how novel that is. It's really nice to know that chivalry isn't dead.

Sincerely,

Your "Hot Redheaded Leather Goddess SITH Chick"

Funny.

"Yes, you are a dork. But you're a hot dork."

Someone described me as such today, and I thought it was amusing.

Umm . . . okay.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

But do I know any? Except Nappy?

Your True Love Is a Gemini

Why you'll love a Gemini: Witty and sharp, a Gemini can keep up with your fast (and ever changing) mind.You're both fun loving and free spirits. You and a Gemini can enjoy each other without expectations. Why a Gemini will love you: Not only can you keep up with a Gemini's sharp tongue, you can introduce a challenge or two...You're appetite for fun and novelty will keep a Gemini interested - at least for a bit longer than usual!

What Sign Is Your True Love?

Hmm.

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

O Captain, My Captain

Attended Bill's funeral today. Saw many faces I hadn't seen in a long time.

I've realized that I am truly blessed, because I have so many people in my life that mean so much to me--loving as much as I do is a risk. When God decides it's time for them to go, that's it, broken hearts notwithstanding. Loss makes some people question the existence of God, but it only reaffirms for me the fact that there is a God, and everything on this earth is as it should be, whether we understand it or not. It's not for us to understand, only for us to accept and work through as best we can. As much as it annoys The Dark One, I am still a big fan of Thomas Jefferson, and his theory toward the almighty rings true for me. He wasn't a Christian, per se. He was a deist, for the simple reason that he believed that there is no way that the world could be as it is, as perfectly designed (and ripe for humans to wreck) as it is, just by accident. The odds simply don't support such a thing. Logic told him, and tells me, that there is some greater force at work in the universe, keeping an eye on things, because no other explanation makes any real sense.

Bill and my dad and my father-in-law and my cousin "Steel Curtain, Baby!" have moved on to hang with the greater force. I hope they're having a blast.

I also realized today that a part of me is broken now, with having lost Bill. I'll be okay, and it will hurt less as time goes on, but a part of me just fractured when I heard that he'd died. I'm never going to be quite the same person again. Maybe that's the real net effect of loving someone, and really letting them into your heart. That person occupies a unique space, and no other human in the world can occupy that space, ever again. When you really lose that person, for good and forever, that spot is just broken.

More lightheartedness to follow. All this drama is about to make my head explode. Maybe I should go find another stupid online quiz.

By the way, thank you, 2035, for making the trek out to see me and let me buy you a beer. Even seeing you for that hour or so made the balance of the night much easier to deal with. Solid, loyal friends like you make the rough times bearable.

Who?

Yes, I had a small surgery today and I am heavily influenced by pain medication. These results, however, seem odd to me. Ah, well.

Your results:
You are Princess Leia

Princess Leia 72% Padme 72% Obi-Wan Kenobi 71% Han Solo 69% Qui-Gon Jinn 67% Luke Skywalker 63% Lando Calrissian 63% Mace Windu 62% Chewbacca 61% Yoda 60%

You are an excellent friend and an unselfish person, yet you like to spend a lot of time on your hair and fashion. You spend most of your time with guys that are too cocky, too hairy, or too related.

Just one of those things.

Spouse and I were going to go up and see my mentor Bill at the hospice on Friday. No small feat, getting Spouse to actually take a half day.

Spouse got a phone call while we were both driving. Bill died.

I got through most of the weekend by just letting the shock carry me. That's wearing off now, and it's getting real. I kept emailing Bill and telling him that I wanted to come and see him, but that I would wait for him to tell me that it was a good time. I didn't want to intrude on his time with his family. We knew his time was short, but everyone was saying two months, maybe six weeks. We got that estimation four days before he died.

I am comforted somewhat by the fact that he knew how much he meant to me. I sent him a personalized Chicago White Sox championship jersey around the first of the year, with a note from Santa saying that Santa knew Bill had had a rough couple of months, but that he'd been a very good boy, and that Santa hoped this present made Bill feel better. Bill apparently found it on his doorstep the day after he had to attend the funeral of a close friend who had died from cancer, and the whole experience had been very sad and scary for him. The jersey made him feel worlds better, and he said he showed it to everyone who came to the house for weeks afterward.

Bill is the reason that I do what I do. He gave me my first job. He taught me how to be a lawyer, how to handle people, how to properly look after bureaucrats and politicians. He taught me that some people, in practicing law, play checkers, but that the smart ones play chess. He taught me how not to let my good nature lead me to doing other people's jobs for them. He saw something in me that led him to want to set me up to be his "heir apparent", planning that as he moved toward a well-deserved retirement, he'd gradually hand the reins over to me as his chosen replacement, since none of his children had wanted to take over the "family business", and I was the closest thing to that that he had. He went to the Town and, knowing that I still had my babies and I needed to have flexibility in my work, he had them create a part-time Assistant Town Attorney position. He couldn't hire me personally because it's a government job, but I think that everyone in a position to make that decision knew that if they hired anyone else, there would be hell to pay.

He was eternally funny and supportive and loving, and he always seemed to come from a position of "Of course you can do this, why would it occur to you to think otherwise?"

He was another Wildcat, and together, we fought off the Sun Devil hordes.

He was completely devoted to his family, and they gave him his greatest joy. After more than thirty years of marriage, he still referred to his wife as "his lovely bride".

My greatest challenge now will be going forward, using the knowledge he gave me, and being worthy of the faith he had in me. It will be my personal goal from here on to become the best lawyer I can possibly be, and to know that wherever he is, he is looking down and watching me with pride. If nothing else, I know that when my life comes to an end, he will be there to greet me with a "Hello, young lady," and a hug. Knowing him, he'll also have an office waiting for me with my name already on the door.

In case it's not already patently obvious . . .

I get bored when I'm home sick from work. I know that if I stay home and rest I'll get back out there faster, but I am so unaccustomed to not having ten projects to do at the same time . . .

TD-0013 has his own website up now.

www.ADPoV.net

I love it. I was finding myself wishing I could listen to the "A Different Point of View" portions of the podcast shows without having to scan through all the rest of the Dragonpage stuff, and now I can do it easily. I can also leave comments about his rantings, which kicks ass.

The mere fact that there will be some evidence that he still exists in some form will be reassuring when recently we've had to go weeks without hearing a thing from him.

Not sure what to make of this quiz.

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

Three Question Personality Test

Take it here

There are times . . .

. . . when you realize that hard times do come, and they make you stronger and make you appreciate more the sweet, happy, carefree times, but still . . .

My cousin Billy died suddenly last week. He went up to bed and his wife watched the end of "American Idol", and when she got upstairs his breathing didn't sound right. Within the hour he was at the hospital, but he was already gone. He lived his life the way he wanted to live it, taking his two dogs through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru a couple of times a week and stuff like that. Had he really known that the net effect of that would be dying at 56, and having his time with his grandchildren cut short, though, I can't help thinking that he might have made some different choices.

I found out today that my mentor is also not long for this world. I haven't let that information really penetrate yet, which I only know because I'm not panicky or hysterical. It's hard to even crank out words that make any sense on the subject. I think the internal shields have slammed down like they did when my dad died, which was the only way I was able to plan the funeral and deal with everything that needed handling. People tell me that under extreme emotional strain I appear to be cold and detached, but the reality is that it's all a defense mechanism. I can't allow myself to feel everything that's inside me, because it might make me fall apart and I don't have the luxury of doing that. There's still too much that needs doing.

There's always stuff that needs doing. And if not by me, then by whom?